God is a good God. Great in fact :)

You know how you can get all caught up in yourself.  What you need to do, what you need to do to take care of yourself.  Afterall, isn't that what we are taught. To take care of numbero uno.  But you know everytime i try to do that I am just miserable. hehe! it's just better to love.  Maybe that is why the greatest commandments are love God with all your heart, mind and soul and love others as yourself.  It's not love yourself more than others.  So sometimes I feel i have tons of things to do, but people want to meet.  when i try to make the "me" time that I think i should have - I am miserable and when I just love, things are wonderful. 

Today someone came over. She was the neice of someone. Never met her before. i have 2 weeks left and tons of things to do, but we met up.  i wasn't wanting to make her lunch to save time so had her come earlier.  But I'm so glad I made her breakfast and chai and we talked hehe! or I talked and she listened and then we prayed and hugged.  you know what this world needs, is love. Lot's of love and if we can just do that the whole world will just change.  More than my stories i think it was just having someone care enough to cook her breakfast, offer her things and spend time with her.  And after that who felt so blessed, both her and me. God is soooo wonderfully good!!

You know one thing that has been on my mind recently is I don't want cambodia to be a project. I want to be there, not to produce results, but to love.  The first time I went, all my agenda was ripped out from under me before I got there.  All I had left to offer was love and you know what, that is all I needed to do.  So if you do read this, then please pray that I will love them and the people of cambodia.  Yes, there are a ton of things i want to do to make their lives better, but i don't want to get caught up in programs and miss out on loving them. 

On another note, I was vaccuming the kitchen. The light was far away and so I was doing it in the dark and I thought I did a pretty good job until I got to the light switch and then when I looked back ugh! so much stuff to redo! and it occurred to me how messy things are without us realizing it until God's light shines in our lives and yet despite all our garbage, God loves us so much that He comes and cleans our lives despite us.  He is truly amazing

The eye is the lamp of the body.  So if your eye is sound, your entire body will be full of light.  But if your eye is unsound, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the very light in you is darkened, how dense if that darkness!

 May God continue to help us see and take off the blinders we all wear and like to wear. :) and let us see darkness for what it truly is.

God is sooo good. i keep thinking i should write and then I don't cause I am lazy.  But today, I just thought I should anyways.  So I have been a brat - a bigger one than usual, but God is good.  He is hopefully going to change me soon and help!

But until then He is blessing me! It truly is His kindness that leads me to repentence.  So He's just sooo sweet. So I was thinking 1 1/2 months ago that I wanted a Coach purse. don't ask me why that thought suddenly came to my mind, like why that particular kind of purse and why at all. But it did and i decided I would go to the outlet and get myself one. Well, hehe! God got me one! So this wonderful little sister of mine who comes and visits me once a year and always gives me my favorite pair of earings for the year came by again a couple of weeks ago.  She said she had something for me in the car and went to get it. i assumed like usual it would be a pair of earings.  But NO! it was a COACH purse! She said she was going to get me a pair of earings like usual, but prayed and asked God and He said to get me a coach purse! Am I a blessed daughter of God or what!!

So at my job my boss asked me what kind of phone I wanted, a blackberry for free or an Iphone I would need to pay for.  So of course I said the blackberry.  Well the next day I was telling God how I really wanted the Iphone but given I am working for only 2 more months, there was no reason to pay for it.  Well, i went into work the next day and guess what was waiting for me??? An Iphone! I am sooo blessed. 

So camp has started and it's awesome, but there is so much going on and so much stress and today 1/2 through the day I was at my peak of stress and trying so hard to be nice and then a meeting happened and from there we went for a hike and everythign changed and I decided to enjoy camp and I came home and saw that someone had prayed for me and my stressful day! The earnest prayer of a righteous man availeth much! god is fantastic.

I have to say, I simple love the people I work with. They are fabulous!!  I love how God takes care of me.  Even little things. So at work I got a house to stay in and when I saw it, it wasn't as nice as I wanted in terms of the bed and I had to share the house with someonea nd I wanted my own placea nd there was no internet.  well, God is sooo good.  So my nursing director needed a house because of her family and so I gave up my house and moved into this other place that is fabulous!!! It has internet, my own place and is sooo nice!!

Another little thing, we had TCI training for the staff and i wanted to attend and it ended up being mandatory for the group! Then i wanted the manual and it was offered to the group at the end! :) I am sooo blessed blessed blessed blessed.  i was thinking about certian peopel and guess who emailed the same week.  and sooo much more, but must sleep!

love you all and look to God!

God's sooo good! I just love Him! So I decided I really wanted boots while I was in India and I had a certain style in mind.  I found boots I liked but not what I wanted for cheap in japan and bought them, but wasn't as happy as I wanted to be. I saw someone else's and was like, those are what I really wanted.  Well, the 2nd day in america I ended up at the shoe store and guess what I found! hehe! So I bought a pair of brown and black ones and was trying to decide if I wanted to keep the black ones since I already had a pair. But really I wanted them to be even cheaper.  They were already 100 dollar boots for 20 each, but I would be so much happier with them being 10 cause there was a pair for 10 but not what I wanted. Well, lo and behold the next week we were out shopping again and my boots were for 10 dollars and then with the 15% off they were even cheaper! Talk about God being sooo good to me! :) so of course I kept both :)  I also left my tennis shoes in Japan when I left.  So I didn't have any shoes here except the boots and fancy shoes and it was makign life difficult.  So I went shopping and found a cheap pair but didn't like them and then I found exactly what I wanted when I had given up and YAY! I even got a compliment on them today! hehe! God's so good.

So I left Japan and really was sad about leaving it, especially with all that happened and me wanting to help. Well, out of the blue I get this email asking me to come help the relief effort with the United Nations! Talk about special opportunity.  So I told them I would have to go on the 2nd trip and asked a bunch of safety questions to relieve fears others would have and they never replied after that.  Well today I was talking to God. The first trip was supposed to leave today and so I was saying, God it's in your hands.  The only email I have is the one of the person who was leading the first trip and she's already left and so will be too busy to reply, but if you want me to go you make the email happen.  Well, no email all day and I just checked before sleeping and waht did I find, but an email saying the first trip was cancelled due to the radiation fears and they will reassess in 2 weeks! hehe! :) So yay. Now my license is back too, so everything is perfect and let's see what God has instore! :)

I went to Camp Korey today and it was great. God has really really blessed me with such a wonderful job.  You know one day in India I was just thinking, "God, I will never get a good job as a doctor again cause I haven't worked in 5 years and then I worked for IHS and people might think it was because I wasn't qualified enough to get a job somewhere else.  God I really don't feel like working at IHS this summer, but I can't say no to them.  God I'll never be able to do something cool like be a medical director" and hehe! guess who got an email that week asking her if she was interested in being the medical director to Camp Korey! Am I blessed or what! :) I love the people and I really love what they are doing! I love it! I love it! I love it! and although I would have done this for free, just like I would have done IHS earlier for free, they are paying me and it's so much more than I was making with IHS!!! I am soo blessed, now I don't have to even worry about funding my women's shelter in cambodia for the next year! :) what an mighty God we serve! What a mighty God we serve! YAY YAY YAY!